I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
