Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
