hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
