I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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