That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
