I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Found the puke drawer
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
