I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
