I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You can't special order awesome
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
