I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
