Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
