my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
do herpes really smell.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
