what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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