Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
