It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
