Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
