hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Four minutes until I can fart!
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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