I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
