I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
