doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
