He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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