Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she told me i tasted like america
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
