I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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