Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
