How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
