Im at strip club and am horny
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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