just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
