Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
