Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
