Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
