for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
