this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
