omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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