Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
