she was so not down for the gang bang
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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