i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
