No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
im holly from the hills drunk
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
