i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
