Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I have grass duct taped all over my body
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
