If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
