He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You have to summon your inner elephant
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
