Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
