Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
