im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
