well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
