I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
