you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
