she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
