Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
COCAINE IS GR8
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
