did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
