I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
