just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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