Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
