He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize