As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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