Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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